The real reason you can’t stay motivated

I smack my lips together.  I force a smile.  Mmmmmm……this beat juice is……delicious…..

5 years ago, I bought a juicer.

I had watched a documentary about a guy who practically lived off of juice alone.  And I was immediately sold.  

Liquid gold, I thought.

THIS is what’s missing from my life!

I made crazy concoctions using aaallllll the vegetables that children deem “disgusting.”

And for 2 solid weeks, I convinced myself that…..seriously!  The second you take a sip, you can just feeeeel the nutrients hitting your cells.

My enthusiasm faded.

And 2 years later, I discovered the juicer at the back of my cupboard.

The second I saw it, guilt washed over me.  

Oh ya.  That thing!  Jesus.  I should really use it.

I pulled it out, and got back into the routine for a solid 7 days.

Then hopped off the train again. 


The juicer effect
THIS?  Is the juicer effect.  The experience of letting guilt drive your behaviour.

And ANY time you do that? The behaviour dies a (not so) slow death.

And I mean come on.  We all have a “juicer” in our lives.  And no, I don’t mean Brad Pitt in Fight Club…..ladies….(hayo!)

I mean the thing you’re doing, because you feel guilty NOT doing it.

Most often, this appears in the form of exercise.  

“OK, ok, ok.  I’m having this LAST sprinkle donut, and then it’s GO TIME.  For real.  I’m doing this.”

You buckle down hard.  For a bit.  But then the second those cringy, uncomfortable, guilty feelings start to fade?  

You go back to being the “real you.”  The default setting.  The person you believe yourself to be, deep down inside.  Even if the person you believe yourself to be, isn’t so hot.

Because it is our BELIEFS that determine our actions….and it is our actions that make up the screenplay of our lives.

And let’s be real.  Our willpower will only ever last as long as it takes our pain….our guilt….to ware off.

It’s like holding your breath under water.  Your true self is bound to surface.  It must.

And your true self?  Is who you believe yourself to be.

It’s like the guy who practically aced his SAT test, after goofing off and skipping class his whole life. 

“Huh….I guess I’m smart.”

He starts putting in the work, gets his MBA, and becomes a billionaire.

Years later, he’s told he was given the wrong score.  It was actually way lower.

But who cares?!  He believed himself to be “the smart guy.”  And he changed his actions to reflect that belief.

If you’re telling yourself, “I’m lazy.”  “I’m not good enough.”  “I’m unloveable.”  “I’m not smart enough…..”  Guess what?  You start acting (even subconsciously!) in ways to support those beliefs.

You wanna be a better version of yourself?  Good!  Me too!  
Do a little digging, and check out what you BELIEVE to be true about yourself.  

But how do we “get at” our true selves?


Strip it Down
You wanna get at your belief system?  You’re gonna need to strip it down, baby.

And I mean like……the equivalent of taking off alllll your make-up, and letting your hair down, wild and loose.

Who is THAT person?

Ask yourself.  What do I believe about myself?

And don’t just go with….I’m a mother….a baker….a candlestick maker.

Wring that lemon OUT, and get to the good stuff.

It takes a bit of willingness to get raw and real.

But once you peek behind the curtains of who you SAY you are……that’s when the magic happens. 

Do some journalling.  Create stillness.  Get outside.  Listen to the breeze. Go for a walk.  Stop multi-tasking for like…..20 mins.  

My trick for digging deep?  Have a creepy conversation with yourself.  I do this all the time.  I talk to myself in the car.  Or when I go for a walk.  And I legit put words to my thoughts.  Out loud.  Like a crazy person.

It’s like….the difference between THINKING “I love you,” and SAYING “I love you.”  It means something totally different in your head, than it does out loud.  So speak the truth, darling.  It might sound different than it does in the echoes of your mind.


Build it up
OK, you’ve got a better idea of who you BELIEVE yourself to be.  Now what?

HERE is where you define who it is you WANT to be.  And this?  This!  Is equivalent to getting behind the wheel.

None of this “I’m a juicer” bullshit.  That ain’t you!  And you know it!

Once you start getting clear on where it is you want to go, your actions, your motivations, are less likely to be jerked around by guilt, and other hoodlum emotions like anxiety, and fear.

Do the same zen-ing out steps you did to find clarity on who it is you believe yourself to be, and start visualizing an upgraded, first-class version of yourself.

Like, the version of yourself that would be played in a movie-version of your life.

But don’t just do it once.  Come on.  You love re-runs.  I know you do. 

Re-run the shit out of your vision.  Journal about it every morning.  And tell other people where you’re headed.

THAT is how you start making those new beliefs, a little more…..true, real, and engrained.  You’ve gotta do a little mind gardening, and plant that seed.  On purpose. 


Prove It
Last step in this 1-2-3 cha-cha?  Give your brain proof that you’re smart enough to ace your own SAT test.

Set yourself up with new experiences in order to prove that…..hey…..I AM the person I want to become…..just a few paces behind.

Sure, maybe you’re not rockin’ a six-pack….but you’re someone who works out on the regular.  

Maybe you’re not a NY Times Bestselling author…..but you write a blog post.  Every.  Fucking.  Sunday.  Ahem.


Take action as a means towards a goal
Get behind your success by tackling what is motivating your behaviour.  Beliefs about who we are can hold us back….or propel us forward.  And REAL progress….REAL steps forward will hinge on your ability to take action as a means towards a goal….rather than a means to avoid pain.

Stop the juicer effect in it’s tracks, baby.
​
Unless you love sipping brussels sprouts.  No judgement.  

---